I’ve been sleeping. Dormant. Occupied by duties and distractions that have taken priority, much more than they should have.
I’ll try and blame it on circumstance; money, work, my health. Truth is I’m too distracted. I’ve let bad habits develop into a lifestyle, somehow convincing myself that goals would still happen if I just started tomorrow. Maybe in the back of my mind I’d resided to the idea that they actually won’t.
But then everything got reset. A new place, a new life, and a new burst of motivation. Things can happen, but you have to make them happen.
I want to make music. When I packed my life into boxes and moved to a new home, I accepted that doing what I wanted was too difficult. Time to take a break. There will be time in the future. I told myself I wasn’t giving up while I put all of my energy into plan B.
I’d accepted that it would be a long time before I’d perform again. But then I had opportunities thrown at me out of the blue, and I was forced out of retirement. And so with a stripped back set I was back on stage, receiving feedback from total strangers that reminded me why I ever wanted to do this at all. The kind words of strangers can be intoxicating.
It was then that I realised that you can’t sit around waiting for the right circumstances and conditions. You have to find a way to make it work with whatever you have.
I don’t know exactly what it is I’m trying to achieve. But I know what it is that I’m motivated to do.
SoI’ll do it.